“Good evening, sir, let me check your
Hat. Right this way. A prime table is
Waiting just for your party. Oh!
Alone tonight, are we? We’ll just
Detour to this smaller table in the corner.
Is this to your liking? Good! Good!
I’ll leave you a menu. Your waiter will be
Right with you. Perhaps a cocktail while
You’re reviewing the menu? Not tonight.
Very well, then. Enjoy your evening.”
“Hi, there. I’m Elaine, your server tonight.
Our specials are blah, blah, blah, blah,
And our soups of the day are this and this.
You take a few more minutes to think about
Your order. I’ll be baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!”
Says the bustling waitress on the run.
He sits there and fumes. He knows what
He wants. He knew before he walked in!
It’s not on the menu, or the special today,
But they better give it to him, or out he’ll go.
Clientele chattering, busboys bustling, servers
Sashaying around, while the host … hosts.
His fingers tap on the table, his foot on the floor.
He looks at his watch, he fidgets, he sits but
He’s pacing the floor. “Never get a word in
Edgewise. I’m ready to order. Just a simple
Order. When is she going to get over here!!”
He eyes her closely, wills her to acknowledge
His upraised hand in demand. At last she sees.
Order pad in hand, she approaches his table.
“What will it be tonight dearie? The prime rib …”
“I’m ready to order,” he hurriedly interjects.
“… looks excellent, as does the seafood platter.
Some soup for starters, or perhaps a nice salad.
Both, maybe, tonight?” she concludes, not
Deterred in the least by his bold statement.
“I don’t want soup, I don’t want salad. You can
Keep your roast beef and your seafood platters!
What I want if you would just let me state it, is
Quite simple, quite brief. GIVE ME A LIFE!!!!!”
© 2001 Priscilla Larkin